College is supposed to be exciting - and for the most part, it is! But when you look out at the crowd of incoming freshman at orientation, it's easy to think, "What am I going to do with all these people?"
There's a lot of pressure put on you the first week of school to be best friends with everyone you meet. Here's the thing: most likely, the friends you make during your orientation are probably not going to be your friends for the rest of the school year. I haven't spoken to the couple of friends I had during orientation since classes started. And that's okay. People need to cling to each other when they are encountering something new, but you'll have more time to make truer, stronger friendships once you get in to the swing of things. And, who knows? Maybe the girl you meet on your first day will be your best friend. The point: don't worry so much about it!
I have never considered myself to be "outgoing" or any like adjectives. Friendly, yes, but I'm very introverted and don't actively seek out meeting new people. I thought that, because of this, I would have a hard time making and that I would therefore be a "loner". I was pretty wrong.
College does this funny thing to you - you suddenly have to understand directions, know when to clean your bathroom, shop for boring things like cotton swabs and Kleenex, and do things like (gasp!) talk to people you don't really know. And, guess what? It really isn't that scary. And all this, coming from someone who used to over-analyze whether she should say hi to someone she knew in passing ("Do they remember me? Will it bother them?").
Find people who are similar to you.
You don't have to hang out with kids who like to party, or kids who like sports, or anyone who you don't think you'll like, just because they're there. Chances are, you'll click better with people you find to be like-minded to you or have similar interests.
It will take time to be good friends.
Remember what I said earlier about orientation? The groups you see of "best friends" might look envious, and it's fine to have a "group" of your own, but keep in mind that if you're looking for a good friend that you can talk to, it might take a little bit of time - I mean, you can't become best friends with someone overnight!
It's okay to enjoy being alone.
For the past few weekends, I've spent time to myself - catching up on laundry, blogging, doing homework, and just taking a break from the hustle and bustle of New York life. If you are someone who needs to be alone to recharge, it is totally fine! Spending some time to yourself does not mean that you won't be able to make friends.
Don't be afraid to take charge.
One of the best ways I've made friends is by asking them to do things with me - bonus points if it involves food. Or simply go on an adventure together! If you want to be friends with someone, don't be afraid to go up and talk to them or shoot them a text asking if they want to try a restaurant or see a museum with you. It's surprisingly painless!
Most importantly, be yourself. It's the easiest way to make friends: you don't have to keep up any acts and you're way more likely to find people you actually enjoy. There are so many things that you'll probably be worried about in college, but making friends shouldn't be one of them! Be true to yourself and take a deep breath - I mean, there's a reason why everyone says you'll make lifelong friends in college.
Lots of love,
Lots of love,
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