My New Year's Resolutions

For the past month,  I've kind of been pretending that it's not 2019 already...it feels like it was only yesterday that I was gearing up for 2018. Unfortunately, despite shutting my eyes hard and wishing time didn't move so quickly, here we are, already at the end of January.

A Recap of 2018

Hello, love - it's been awhile!

I know, I need to stop saying that every time I make a new post. Between double-majoring, going through some life changes, and re-watching season 1 of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, I haven't had a lot of time to post on the blog. But, don't worry - I haven't left! In fact, I've been working on some things that won't come to fruition until next year.

But enough about that for right now. How about I fill you in on everything that's happened since we last talked?

(By the way, if you want a drink or a snack, grab it now and buckle up - I'm about to hit you with three months of life,)

Doing What You Love vs. Doing What You Must

Being in a full-time job this summer is really great - I'm getting the opportunity to save a lot of money for the upcoming school year and, on top of that, I'm able to maintain a good-yet-flexible schedule (and we know this girl needs a schedule!). I love being around my family all the time, I love the freedom of not having to do any work, of relaxing, planning fun weekend trips, having the choice of curling up in my bed at 7:30 pm to binge-watch Netflix or YouTube -- all the wonderful things about summer. But, as much as I've learned about banking, people, and myself over the last month or so, I've only confirmed my prior beliefs: banking isn't what my heart is in.

The Best (And Worst) Things About Being Home for the Summer

Almost a month ago, I woke up super early, packed up the rest of my dorm, got my room inspected, turned in my room key, and caught a plane to fly back home. Even though I was up for about 20 hours that day, I was up and going off of being both excited and nervous - ever since I started college, I haven't been home for more than a month! I'd be leaving all the friends I made in NYC for a few months, and the people I kept in contact with from back home were all working, going on trips, or studying abroad, so I was afraid I wouldn't get to see them. And I was set to start my first full-time job a couple weeks after I came back. Even though I was a little nervous to see what the summer had in store for me, I was more excited than anything: time to relax, time to not do schoolwork, time to sleep, etc, etc.

When I finally got home, after a very long, 20-hour day, I set my suitcases down in my bedroom (what a sight to see!) and went to bed. Throughout the last week or so, I realized that there are so many reasons why this summer is different from any summer before I started college.

When (Un) Inspiration Strikes

As someone who studies theater, writes a blog, and keeps a bullet journal, I'm sure some would assume me to be a fountain of creativity (something that I feel like many art students are assumed to be). And, on some level, I would say that yes, I am a very creative person. However, creativity isn't like a faucet - you can't just turn it on or off and expect to sit down and write an amazing essay, fiddle around on the piano, draw a good picture, etc, etc. As much as I wish I could constantly be churning out good ideas, both on the blog and in classes, I most definitely experience times where I feel creatively spent. While it's happened a few times this year in terms of presentations in acting classes or writing an essay on a piece of artwork, the most annoying (and recent) example I have of this is actually in regards to the blog. 

What Freshman Year of College Taught Me

When I sat down this morning at Starbucks, with a tea in hand and my Spotify set to my favorite playlist, I had no idea what I was going to write about. So, instead of forcing myself to work on a post that I wasn't really committed to for the sake of writing something, I decided just to write my grocery list. When I opened my planner, though, it really hit me: I only have one week left of my freshman year.

A Letter to the Person Afraid to Take Risks

Being a freshman in college, I've probably had to take more risks in the last seven months than I've ever taken in my life. Deciding where to go, leaving home, making friends, studying a profession that (even though I love it) pushes me out of my comfort zone daily - these are just some of the things that I've considered 'risky' that I've encountered recently. For all of them, I was afraid. I was scared to leave home. I was scared to talk to my roommates, let alone make friends. I was scared my first day of class when I had to sing a song in front of everyone. I was scared.

Welcome to 2018!

You may have noticed, but over the last two months, I've taken a little break from blogging. There are tons of reasons for this - I was being swamped with finals, enjoying the holidays with my family, and readjusting to life back in NYC for my second semester of school. Mostly, though, I wasn't sure what I should write. I always felt the urge to write something, but that "something" never became clear to me. I opened up new posts, typed a few paragraphs, deleted, retyped, and deleted sections again. It seemed that I couldn't find a clear subject to write about. Having never really experienced writer's block like that before (usually when I write, I can barely type fast enough before my brain is onto the next sentence), I wasn't sure what to do; I felt lost and honestly, I kind of felt like blogging was something that wasn't going to work out for me long-term.

What It's Like Your First Time Back From College

As the leaves started to fall and the New York City air got chillier, my anxiousness to go back home for the first time since move-in grew stronger and stronger. Like a lot of my peers, I was counting down the days until I could be reunited with my family, friends, pets, and - oh yeah - my bed. So when the day came for me to catch a shuttle to the airport for Thanksgiving break, I couldn't believe it.

A Letter to the Girl Struggling With Body Image

Every college student (and most people in general) know or have heard about the "Freshman Fifteen". They say that during your freshman year of college, you will gain fifteen pounds. I've been told so many things about this, ranging from "it's absolutely true" to "it's a myth" to "no matter how hard you try you'll still gain 15 pounds". The concept of the "Freshman Fifteen", whether you believe it's true or not, is an unhealthy thing to have swirling around in your head when you enter college.

Why Fall is Truly a Powerful Season

Ah, fall: it's the season of color changes and pumpkin flavored everything.

I love absolutely everything about autumn. Give me the falling leaves, the trips to pumpkin patches, the warm drinks on cold nights, the sweaters being broken out again for the end of the year, and, yes, even the pumpkin spice (my newest favorite is a pumpkin spice chai tea latte!).

By now, it's mid-October, which means that the season is in full swing. Unfortunately, here in New York City, the 70-degree weather has me missing the chilly, drizzly fall weather back home in Seattle. Besides the few random days where we had windy weather in the low 40s, it hasn't felt like fall here at all - which means that I have had to do some creating in order to get myself in the fall spirit, including camping out in a freezing air-conditioned Starbucks while drinking my PSL and creating a fall playlist and Pinterest board to get me in the mood (click the words to see those and fall in love with the season all over again!).

For the Student Who Misses Home

No matter how far away from home you are when you leave for college, feeling homesick is inescapable. And it's hard to be away from home and on your own for the first time - in fact, it's really hard. Whether you were dreading leaving your mom or so ready to get away from your parents senior year, chances are there'll be a point during your first college semester where you miss something from home (even if that be something as small as the way your mattress at home felt!).

A Letter to My New Home

Dear New York City,

I wouldn't say you welcomed me with open arms. In fact, it was quite the opposite. There are so many people in the city that there's no time to pause, even for a second. After all, you are the city that never sleeps. I was dropped here with a bag and a dream and you said, "Figure it out." And figure it out, I've done (more or less).

You're big. You're concrete. You're crowded. You're noisy. You're nothing like my hometown and yet, you're amazing.

A Letter to the Student Scared to Make Friends

College is supposed to be exciting - and for the most part, it is! But when you look out at the crowd of incoming freshman at orientation, it's easy to think, "What am I going to do with all these people?"

There's a lot of pressure put on you the first week of school to be best friends with everyone you meet. Here's the thing: most likely, the friends you make during your orientation are probably not going to be your friends for the rest of the school year. I haven't spoken to the couple of friends I had during orientation since classes started. And that's okay. People need to cling to each other when they are encountering something new, but you'll have more time to make truer, stronger friendships once you get in to the swing of things. And, who knows? Maybe the girl you meet on your first day will be your best friend. The point: don't worry so much about it!

5 Ways to Make Senior Year Easier

This day will come faster than you think!

Ah, senior year. I remember it like it was yesterday. You feel like you're on top of the world, you rule the school, and like you're invincible....at least until it's the month before school starts and you realize you haven't gotten your senior pictures done yet or even had a thought about college. Or maybe you are "on top of it", like I was at the beginning of my senior year, but still feel like everything is starting to pile up. Whichever kind of senior you are, there will be times in your last year of high school where you feel like you're losing control.

A Letter to My Boyfriend of 3 Years

Dear Duckie,

First of all, I love you. And I’m so lucky to love you. I’m so lucky to have been able to love you for three and a half years this Thursday (by the way, that’s crazy!).

Our three years together have been an amazing and crazy ride. There have been ups and downs, and we have come to realize that we have many differences. But our relationship is much bigger than any difference between us.

What I Wasn’t Told About the Summer Before College

It's easy to get caught up in college prep, but don't forget to pay attention to the present.

At the end of the school year, it felt like move-in day was never going to arrive. Now, with less than a month left before I take off 2,000 miles away, it feels like everything is happening at once.

With the end of summer approaching, preparing for my own sendoff coincides with preparing to say goodbye to others. This, I didn’t realize, is the hardest part about the summer before college.